"Friends joke with one another. 'Hey you're poor.' 'Hey, your momma's dead.' That's what friends do."
"It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore."
"You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?"
"It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."
"Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but, basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe, and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm."